Mawiwa's stories

Next what?

2008-02-17T15:34:00.003Z

I have reached the point where I am in serious doubt concerning my future relationship. Is this the ONE, is this the right decision, is this going to work out?
I am worried about my doubts, I am worried that I have doubts! If people really love each other, if they respect each other and trust, should there be any place left for wondering?
Maybe I am wrong, maybe I exagerate but for the time being I am not happy. Constantly frustrated, miserable and irritated. A really happy woman in love...

frustrated

2008-02-04T12:51:00.000Z

I have no bloody idea what is happening with me. I can't control myself, my emotions my moods. Anything can drive me mad, and it becomes dangerous. I tend to let of the anger on the people that are close to me, and I know that I hurt them terribly. I treat them like shit. I am lost in my actions. Words cannot describe what I feel. I start to hate myself for what I do and say. I am loosing my mind. help.

Svenska holiday

2008-01-29T08:34:00.000Z

LOOOONG time, almost a year since the last post. A year that was full of unexpected twists and moments. Getting engaged, opening family business, starting a new school, and having a new member of family - a little creature cold Kasper Wincent Wagner - my nephew. It was a huge privilege to become a godmother of him. And looking at him - a funny expresion come to my mind - " Good things come in small packages". Such a tiny human being - wonder if life will treat him right, if he will be happy and plenty of other questions that cross my mind...God bless him!

viva la Chamonix

2007-03-31T13:33:00.000+01:00

Finally! My beloved brother has finally sent me some photos from our winter holiday. That was a bad luck, I thought that he wold take a camera and they forgot. So we had to take photos using our mobile phones! Pathetic!!!! Anyway, that's good that we have got those few at least!. Views were picturesque and breathtaking. Looking at Mont Blanc brought the feelings of being a minor element of the universe, tiny and small creature. The majesty of God displayed in all the power and strength. Being in such a place make you realize how unimportant are your worries and troubles. He that created such an enermous views for sure will help you solve your problems. There is no mission impossible for Him.

"Just call out his name,

He'll be right there."

Magnificent! Hope that I will go there one more time. Someday.

I promised

2007-03-28T21:09:00.000+01:00

OK. I have promised all my wonderful students that the pictures that I took on our lesson will be placed on my blog. So there they are. My crazy students...I just love having lesson with them!

II A - although talking all the time, class that makes me laugh and happy that I have chosen this job. Just look at the pictures....having fun or what?! Maciej, Michał, Kamila, Kasia, Kamil, Łukasz, Konrad, Wojtek, Paweł, Patryk, Mateusz, Ola, Agnieszka, Basia and Martyna - you are wonderful people that have a special place in my heart! Greetings to you all!!!!

Whimsical mood

2007-03-20T18:05:00.000Z

Something is in the air...Being moody could be one of my best characteristics now. I can offer anyone a broad range of feelings and emotions :) Just name them...furiosity - here you are, joy - no problem, misery - with pleasure!!!!! God, I'm getting tired of being myself! HELP! Save me!
I do hope, that it is just a matter of the seasonal change...because I am on the verge of breaking up with myself. Everything has some limits!!! Who else can't put up with me?!?!?!

weather-feather

2007-03-05T22:01:00.000Z

I bet the spring is at the state of war with the winter as it is very difficult for her to start rulling. Neverending fights and battles that we have to unfortunatelly witness. One day the winter gains the "military" advantage over spring and then all humanity is depressed again as we all are looking forward to the puffs of fresh air, scented with the crocuses and snowdrops. But soon...soon she will win. And we know that :)

ble ble ble

2007-02-28T21:32:00.000Z

Due to the yesterday's argument my blog was forced to get past the censors. The cruel censors withheld permission for the free writing spirit to go ahead! I have always believed that the right to express one's feelings and emotions is one of the basic factors that make the democracy spin, well, at least is a tiny, minor one. But still there is!!!!!
What's the difference then I ask, between you fresh, new brooms that were supposed to infuse Polish nation with new lease of life, from the old system? None. Game of appearances. Pretending to be better. But you are not. The same cowardly actions and behaviour that do not go hand in hand with the speeches made. Pathetic.
Am I overreacting? Yes, I am!!!! I hate being manipulated.

Happy Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T13:18:00.000Z

Hello my dear friends! Wish you all the very happy Valentine's Day, but moreover, I wish you all the love throughout the whole year not only on this particular one day. May your days be filled with this magnificent power that you will be able to share with the loved ones, families, relatives and friends. And let's remember that this day is not about shopping and spending money on precious gifts but about contemplating our emotional life! Love all of you!

Godson - Konrad

2007-02-11T20:39:00.000Z

Family bounds are so crucial for the successful existence of us, lonenly people. I believe that we all could much more enjoy our lives knowing that we have got a strong and constant feedback form our families. Today I had guests. It was my cousin Hanna with her son ( and my godson ) Konrad. The life did not treat her good, she experienced so much sorrow from men. And she sought shelter from all of that far away from the family. Perhaps she had reasons for doing so, not having the feeling of support and acceptance from the relatives...but lately all of that has changed. Seeking the roots, selfless help - that'a a new lease of life which all of us should follow somehow.

World Press Photo 2007

2007-02-09T21:26:00.000Z

Fascintaing how people can catch those amazing moments using just their cameras. I am flabbergasted looking at some of them. I have chosen 4 that had an impact on me. Which of those photos do you recon to be the best? http://wiadomosci.onet.pl/9835,8,0,pokaz.html

i'm back!!!

2007-02-08T15:09:00.000Z

CENSORSHIP

so that was Christmas

2006-12-27T14:58:00.000Z

Finally back to the reality. Christmas passed but memories are still fresh.
It was a really nice time, filled with joy (not
pretended one) and sincrerity. We had our uncle ( my mother's brother ) with his wife and son to spend Christmas Eve with us. And it was nice. Bartek, together with Miki and Aga spent that evening with his mother-in-law but we met in the very evening to sing some carols, to share presents and finally to go to the Midnight Mass. And as usuall (unfortunatelly) that was so sad to see so many drunk people...Well.
The first day of Christmas was Miki's as it is his birthday so we had many guests around the house and Miki was the hero. So many presents did this kid get!!!! So sparkling were his eyes...wonderful!
The present of the year was Miki's GameBoy which all of us wanted to play on. MarioBros was undoubtedly the thing desired by all of us :).

"reunion"

2006-12-10T11:58:00.000Z

Last Friday I had a marvellous meeting with my girlfriends from a primary school. It was amazing to see some of them even after 12 years. And although we hadn't seen each other for such long time there were no moments of uncomfortable silence...Remembering about funny moments, looking through old photos, talking about those leniant and more strict teachers...that was fun!
We were 11 girls in our class but only 8 of us appeared. Ania Kawa, Ania Ł, Donata and Sylwia are married the rest is single or having boyfriends. Some of us have already children, Ania Ł is expecting the second one and she looks just great! One moment I am scared when I think about having children but then I envy her somehow. Ola used to be my best friend and we went through so many things together. Our friendship was a peculiar one. We needed a lot of time to realize that we are close to each other...and then, each of us went to completely different high schools and all the strength of our friendship started to fade step by step. Unfortunatelly. It was awesome to see them and I hope that we will see each other soon.

time for some changes

2006-12-02T19:08:00.000Z

Every woman sometimes just needs to do something with her image. Either cutting or dying hair, sometimes it is just enough to go shopping and buy something completely unusual for yourself. Why is that so
girls? Why do we feel better after all those small 'surgeries' that we decide to undergo? Are they somehow supposed to repair our 'psycho'?
I've been just wondering...because I've also decided to be 'operated on'...and you know what? I feel really good now. Maybe it was my way of dealing with problems that have just overcome me. Too much tension and too much stress. Or maybe it is a beginning of the new chapter of
my life?We will see...

Isn't he lovely?

2006-11-30T21:03:00.000Z

My little precious nephew, my little prince charming, my apple in the eye...I miss him so much sometimes, and it happens from time to time that I wish my brother had never moved to Sweden. Somehow I feel deprived of being an aunt. I am sure that all my love and affection towards this little creature is even stronger now, but still...I would rather they lived in Gdynia. I would rather he was brought up in our motherhood, in Gdynia, in Poland. However, I know that if they did, their life wouldn't be as comfortable as it is now. So probably it is better for him to be there...Well, that is the life of the distant aunt :)
photo1 - Miki 'swimming' in Mike's t-shirt
photo2- Together in mountains

not exactly healthy

2006-11-20T17:00:00.000Z

Well...November is quite known for the high incidence of crimes. Crimes connected with health. So I was also robbed of my health. :) Instead of going to work I made my way to a doctor who prescribed me tones of stuff that I am suppsed to take. A considerable quantity of those things are antibiotics with terrifying names. I hate that!
The positive thing in all of that is that I finally can read some books just for the pleasure and not because I have to and the other is that Michal looks after me. He made sandwiches for me today, plenty of mugs with hot tea, lemon and rapsberry juice. I love it! (maybe I should be ill more often?) And the friends that drop in ...and the cookies that I got from Ola...and...Sometimes it is good to be ill.

Nuta

2006-11-17T13:36:00.000Z

My precious little friend, a flatmate and sometimes a "badmate" - Nuta. She is a three-years old Irish Seter which I simply just adore. I guess I got in love with this particular breed of dogs when I was a small girl and we used to live in a different district of Gdynia. There was this elderly gentleman, old captain who seemed to be very mysterious and interesting person. I just loved chatting to him, while meeting him in front of our block of flats or going together in a lift. And next to him there was always a dog...The Irish seter. Since those times I guess that those dogs have become somehow symbolic to me, they remind me of sweet years of my childhood.

My hero!

2006-11-13T20:56:00.000Z

Finally I was able to load the photo with the lovest musician of mine!!! Leszek Mozdzer ( that's his name) is a marvellous pianist which I just adore! And it was such a surprise to me to be able to get to know him in person. It was some time ago in the summer at my friend's after-wedding party. We were sitting in a garden, having a barbeque, talking, drinking and dancing and than He came as a partner of one of the girls that were invited. WOW! I was flabergasted and in fact still am when I look at this photo. If you are interesed to get to know something more about him take a look www.mozdzer.com.

the life of a tramp

2006-11-11T10:53:00.000Z

Sometimes I would love to get rid of everything that limits me. My job, my friends, family, emotions and feelings. Sometimes I dream about setting off on a journey that will change my life. New places, new people, new experiences and feelings. To change places whenever I want and whenever I feel. And all of that is probably because my life slowly turns into some terrible routine...On Monday looking forward to Friday. Living from weekend to weekend. I miss some adventure, some thrill. All of that has become some kind of a vicious circle. Maybe I should find a new hobby? Or to take few days off and visit some new places? I miss SO terribly those carefree travels like the one with Ola in Greece. We just went where we felt like, saw places we desired to see and although we were terribly tired ( not mentioning our poor feet!!!) we had that inner satisfaction of fullfiling our dreams and desires. Is there finally soem time for a change?

simple

2006-11-05T13:56:00.000Z

Isn't she beautiful? Sometimes it is just enough to see a picture like that and you automatically feel better. Simple pictures, simple situations and simple moments...we just have to take as much of the positive thinking out of them as it is possible. Just look at it and enjoy! Enjoy every moment!

Candle Light

2006-11-01T18:24:00.000Z

There has always been something magical in that day. Not only because of the memories that surround us, concerning all our relatives and friends, that died. There is something in the air...The smell of the candles, the scents of autumn, and the chilly air that announces the arrival of winter...soon. I like this day when all the people hurry to graveyards, carrying the candles and chrysanthemums. The crowds that for just this one day will probably think about death and the mortality of humans. Should we think about that while living ? Should we carry in mind that every each of us will have the same end? That we will be all equal standing face to face with death? Let's live our lives the best we can so that we will never regret anything that we did or that we haven't done.

Sunny days - reminding holidays

2006-10-22T17:23:00.000+01:00

Another weekend has passed. And it was such wonderful weather, beautiful Golden Autumn. Sometimes I think that it is the best season. When it is not that hot that you can hardly breath and it is not that cold that your nose turns red as soon as you step outside the house. Of course I was supposed to work a bit on my MA Thasis....Yeah...I was supposed to. But there were so many other things that just needed to be done :) So, as usually, I looked through my photos from holidays. This year we went with Michal and our friend Marcin around Poland in a car. It was great fun, however, with few exceptions....About this-another time.

Anniversery

2006-10-20T20:52:00.000+01:00

Today was a special day for many of my pupils and my colleagues as well. There was the 20th Anniversary of the School of Deaf Children, where I am proud to work in. My adventure with those wonderful people strated 2 years ago. I was asked to take over English lessons in the high school. First of all I wasn't really willing to start my work there. Probably because of the fear of not being able to cope with the disability of those young people.However, as the time has passed I have to admit that teaching there is one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. Their open hearts and open minds that are so vulnerable! Pure kindness, pure satisfaction. Thank you all my students for being!!! I love you! There is the photo of one of my lovely students: Iwona - isn't she fabulous!

feeling blue

2006-10-11T15:55:00.000+01:00

Right...sometimes it is better not to know. Sometimes it is better to pretend that you don't see and moreover that you ar so naive that you believe that everything is just fine. Coincidence made me anxious. I didn't do it on puropse, it just happened. I read a message which was not meant for me. And my heart stopped for a moment, for few minutes...long minutes. What if it is true, what if my assumptions are correct. Would that be the end or just a begining...Chaos...and for the time being I feel like that big, blue elephant.

Saturday Fever!

2006-10-08T21:34:00.000+01:00

What a day! What a night! Not having seen Gabi for a couple of months we decided to paint the town red and we went to Sopot. For those of you who are not familiar with this beautiful spot of Poland I will just sat that this is the place for parties. Sopot, being in the middle of the Trycity has become a perfect place for people who want to relax a bit. And so we were there that weekend as well. I am not a kind of party girl, however, it is good to get rid of all those everyday issues from time to time...So we did.

Just a beginning

2006-10-06T13:14:00.000+01:00

Whenever I sit in fron of my PC, and whenever I read my e-mails, there is always a letter informing me about Blog being posted by some of me dear friends. And me....? Having no Idea of how it works and what kind of fun it gives. But finally time for me has come as well :) And I hope that it will be as pleasurable as writing diaries, which I have been keeping since I was 13 years old. Thanks Richard!!!

I am happy, I have to admit that. Although life brings me many unexpected situations and events, it is good. More than I could pray for. Loving and supporting family, challenging job, true friends ( although spread around the whole Globe!), my animals and what's more my adorable and loving partner Michal. Could I ask for anything more? Maybe I could....